Sunday, April 11, 2021

Welcome, Warriors! ❤

Hi there! My name is Hanne Arts and a I'm a Psychology graduate, author, YouTuber, and recovery warrior. I started writing when I was about seven, and I began incorporating some of my own mental health struggles into my works from the age of thirteen. I published my debut novel, JUST PERFECT, in December 2014, followed by its sequel, RED RIBBONS, in October 2017.

But that's quite a condensed version of my life, don't you think?

As a child, my life was perfect.  

That is, until it wasn’t anymore.  

In January 2010, I was diagnosed with an eating disorder, anorexia. In February 2010, I was hospitalized. Since then, I have been in and out of hospitals, consistently struggling to build my life up whilst sliding back down.

If someone would have told me, even just five years ago, that things would get better, I don’t think I could have suppressed my laughter. It would have been sinister laughter. Why-on-earth-would-you-say-that laughter, like that of an evil character in a children’s film. I did not believe that I would ever make it out; I felt helpless and trapped in the embrace of an illness that once, just briefly, had promised me that everything would be fine. Everything would be okay if only I tossed out that snack, if only I skipped that meal.  

For almost six years of my life, my mind was consumed. I was obsessed. I fell into the eating disorder’s arms, unable to break free. Every morning and every night, I would sneak upstairs to weigh myself. Every mealtime, I would consider how to get away with eating less and less. Every night, I cried myself to sleep. I felt worthless. I wished for a way out.  

I wished to sleep. Forever. When the morning sun awoke me from a restless night, I was disappointed. A new day – the same struggles.

Meanwhile, I saw my parents break down. Whilst I turned into a shadow of my former self, they crumbled. They forced me to eat, threatened me with hospitalization, and showered me with more love than I knew anyone could hold within one’s heart. And I hated them for it.  

After all, it was the one thing keeping me there. It was the only thing keeping me tied to the life I so desperately wanted to step out of.  

They sobbed and I sobbed; they sent me to treatment and I went. Gradually, the weight crept up. Gradually, the bad moods lifted, if even just a little. What was there, I wondered, further down this path? Would the veil that obscured my life finally lift? Was there a light at the end of the tunnel?  

There was no way to know. Not unless I followed the path. And I decided it was worth the risk.   

Let me tell you now, it is worth the risk. It is a winding road, but it is paved; there are poisonous berries and thorn bushes, but no bad wolves or evil gnomes. It sure as hell is a safer route than the alternative, and I really think you should consider it. You won’t know if you don’t try.   

Had I not taken the risk, I would have never known. I would have never experienced the wonders that make up life. I would have never experienced shameless pleasure, unapologetic joy, and that incredible emotion that comes so naturally to children – carefree nonchalance.   

Today, I live abroad, I attend university, and I have a boyfriend. Food is no longer at the forefront of my priorities list. I am ED- thought and behaviour free. I have a successful YouTube channel and two much-praised published books. I work, I travel, I enjoy my life.  

And I know that I will wake up tomorrow morning, excited when the sun awakes me from a restful sleep.

Realistic What I Eat in a Day

*Realistic* what I eat in a day (eating disorder-recovered, vegan, simple, tasty). Quick recipes, tasty brownies, and vegan fish and chips! What's your favorite easy at-home meal?

Monday, March 22, 2021

Eating TWICE my Hospital Meal Plan (Eating Disorder Recovery Inpatient)

I'm eating my old anorexia hospital meal plan for 24 hours...x2! When I went into eating disorder treatment, I gained weight on small portions, before my metabolism increased and extreme hunger made that I could eat everything in sight... join me for today's 24 hour food challenge to see how I manage with my old eating disorder recovery inpatient meal plan now! 

Monday, March 15, 2021

Challenging Anorexia FOOD RULES and Overcoming Night-Time BINGES (ED Recovery Q&A)

Today's eating disorder recovery question and answer is all about challenging anorexia food rules and overcoming night-time binges. 

I talk about 
  1. how to determine your minimum intake requirements, 
  2. how long it takes to recover, and 
  3. how to break the binge-restrict cycle and overcome food rules.

Monday, March 1, 2021

VERY personal Q&A... *losing my virginity, recovery, veganism*

We're diving deep with a very personal Q&A... ft the age at which I lost my virginity, my eating disorder recovery journey, and more! Grab a snack and find the timestamps (+ recipe!) in the description!

Monday, February 22, 2021

What We Eat in a Day (VALENTINE'S DAY!) | Vegan & Recipes

What We Eat in a Day (VALENTINE'S DAY!), including recipes. Join for one day in my life, celebrating valentine's day and eating lots of good, tasty food!

Monday, February 8, 2021

The Biggest Lessons I Learned about SEX (Anorexia Recovery)

The biggest lessons I learned about SEX after spending my puberty-years with an eating disorder and in eating disorder recovery. Sex, intimacy and the whole relationship thing did not come naturally for a recovering and subsequently recovered anorexic. Along the journey, here's what I discovered! 

Tuesday, January 19, 2021

Eating Disorder Recovery Q&A

Q&A ft. eating refined sugars, weight gain, overcoming fear foods, guilt about 'too little' exercise, and the eating disorder recovery mindset.