Including some never-before-shown photos, this video was a difficult one for me to make. It was also a particularly difficult evening for me to cope. Why? Well, weighing myself again after 2 months wasn’t exactly the easiest thing to do. Plus, I’d been flipping through my diary and had stumbled across a terrible, terrible YouTube comment amongst the many, many positive ones (more on that later). Sounds like the perfect combination, doesn’t it?
Just before going off to bed I could already feel I wasn’t going to get much sleep if I didn’t record this. Whether or not I would post it, I wasn’t sure. I guess I made up my mind.
I just want to be honest with all of you and tell you that I, too, have difficult days. No problem should ever be shoved away or cropped up inside. No problem should ever be allowed to eat you with worry. It's okay to cry and feel like shit once in a while.
Anyway, although the title of this video is “I hate my body,” I don’t want to promote hating yourself or freaking out about your flaws. Even though I at times ‘hate’ my metabolism, the way I look in a photo, or the way my weight refuses to budge, I no longer hate myself as a human being. I accept myself and can honestly say that I am proud of my achievements. That’s the main message I want share: you don’t have to love yourself to accept yourself. And that is the first step. Don’t use food as a way to cope with stress and challenges, because you deserve to eat and your body deserves to be nourished. Instead, cope by actually dealing with the problem at hand [Tweet this]. Let's deal with that freakin' video now:
Let me know how you’re doing and what you’re struggling with. I’m currently working on several writing projects (at once) and would love to see what aspects of recovery you would like to see addressed.
See you next week, and, until that time, be sure to keep your head up. You can get through this; you’re warrior.