Thursday, October 25, 2018

How my TWIN Influenced my AN (& Vice Versa)

I have a twin sister. How did that affect my eating disorder (anorexia), and how did my eating disorder affect her? In so many ways... both positive (+) and negative (-).

(-) It is the initial comparison and competition that allowed my anorexia to get so out of hand. Of course, this is not my sister's fault, but rather the result of my own perfectionistic and workaholic personality. I wanted to be better at academics, sports, and eating. Not just compared to my sister, but compared to everyone. I felt insecure, but at least not eating was something I was good at.

(-) Being a twin, having an eating disorder set me apart. It developed into something that was unique to me; it defined me and became part of my unique identity, which kept me stuck in my disordered thought and behaviour patterns.

(+) My family directed all of their attention toward me, the 'sick one.' I hated this attention, and would have much rather received their trust than their worries. This was not possible, and I realised I had to prove myself before this could happen. This made me want to get better. This helped me recover.

(+) Throughout my recovery, I looked up to my sister for her strength. She did not let herself get affected by my struggles, and she stayed so damn strong! She also grew into a beautiful independent women, and I realised what I, too, wanted to achieve in life.

***  Meet my twin sister, Evelien:

***  Did you know? This video was already up on Patreon a week before being uploaded to YouTube! Want to get early-bird access, exclusive videos, free recipes, one-on-one time, etc.? Check out the page!

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