One of the Most Dangerous Things I Hear from Clients...

One of the most dangerous things I hear from clients: "I don't think I'm sick enough to deserve recovery."

It's one of the eating disorder's BIGGEST lies.

"I don't think I'm really struggling enough to deserve help."

"I'm not sick enough for recovery."

"Other people have it worse than me."

Every time I hear these phrases, I want to reach out through the screen and say: IT'S NOT TRUE. That's the eating disorder talking.

The Biggest Lie Your ED Tells You

Here's something I wish someone had told me during my own six years of struggling:

Your eating disorder will never ever ever tell you that you're thin enough.  

It will never tell you that you're struggling enough.

It will never tell you that you're deserving enough.

Because if it did — if it ever admitted that you'd suffered "enough" — you might actually do something about it! You might actually leave. To reclaim your life.

Your eating disorder doesn't want you to leave. It wants you small. It wants you to believe that you haven't earned the right to be free, and that you can't and won't ever recover. 

So it moves the goalposts. Every. Single. Time. 

There is no finish line where your ED says, "Okay, you've suffered enough. You're free to go now." That moment doesn't exist. Because the goal was never a number on the scale, a diagnosis, or how long you've been ill. The ED's goal was always to keep you obedient, and to trap you increasingly more.

You don't "earn" recovery by suffering more.

I needed to hear this. Maybe you do too.

You deserve recovery because you're not living your best life, and that's the only justification you need.

If you're spending your days battling food thoughts, rules, guilt, and anxiety — if your eating disorder is making decisions about your relationships, your career, your social life, your holidays — that's enough. 

You don't need to hit rock bottom to start climbing.

One of my clients — I'll call her Sarah — waited thirteen years before reaching out to me.

She told me she didn't think she was "really" struggling because she was still going to work. Still eating meals with her family. Still "functioning." She'd gained weight and "looked fine."

But she still was spending hours every day negotiating food decisions. She was skipping social events because she couldn't face the menu. She was lying to her partner about why she didn't want to go out for dinner. And she was exhausted! 

Yet she didn't think she was "sick enough." Things had been worse in the past.

The day she finally booked a call (because "why not"), she said a weight dropped off her shoulders. She said she wished she'd done this back when she first convinced herself she wasn't sick enough for support. 

That's thirteen years of suffering that she didn't have to endure. Thirteen years of waiting for a moment that was never going to come — which may never have come had she not though "why not" and signed up on a whim.

Why The "Sick Enough" Trap Is So Convincing

The "not sick enough" trap is one of the sneakiest ways your eating disorder keeps you stuck. Because it doesn't look like resistance. It just looks like you're being "realistic."

...but being realistic requires you to look at the facts:

• You're still thinking about food. Constantly.
• You're still negotiating with yourself. At every meal.
• You're still avoiding situations you'd love to join in on.
• You're exhausted by the mental load.

These are the facts. And those facts are enough.

You don't need a diagnosis to justify getting help. You don't need to be a certain weight. 

You just need to be honest about the fact that this isn't working anymore. And that you want something else for yourself.

Recovery doesn't require you to hit rock bottom. All it requires is for you to decide that you deserve more than this.

And if you're here, reading this, something in you already knows that.

What Happens Next

If you've been sitting on the fence waiting for the "right time" to get support and for things to feel "bad enough," know that you don't have to keep spending your days battling food thoughts, rules, guilt, and anxiety.

You can work towards:

• Trusting yourself around food again
• Feeling calmer and more confident in your body
• Having more energy and space for your relationships, hobbies, and goals
• Building a life where the eating disorder takes up less room

I'm opening 5 spaces inside my group coaching program, Reset & Recover, starting October 5th. Doors to the waitlist are open NOW.

💌 Join the waitlist

And if you want to hear more about the "not sick enough" trap, and all the other traps the eating disorder uses to keep you stuck, check out this week's episode of The ED Recovery Messages podcast: 

🎧 Listen here  

Remember: a feeling is not a verdict. You can feel "not sick enough" and still choose recovery. You already have permission. You always did.